February 2012
7 posts
I just want to read all day and not do anything, ever.
5 tags
5 tags
Belly of the Whale
I’ve concluded that I want to live old and with cats; this is what I am meant for.
I’m not cut out for love, for affection, for intimacy…perhaps I am, but not in the way you want me to. I can only love all, my limit ends there.
I just don’t know what I want, but I do know what I don’t want; that much is clear. Idealism and delusions absorb my mind and nothing is...
January 2012
10 posts
My Xanga page.
http://link-is-so-sexy.xanga.com/
This is so old, 7 years to be exact. Time flies by so quickly; I still remember writing some of these post as if it were yesterday. <3 Thanks to Stoofi for inspiring me to go onto this crazy path of nostalgia. I realize I haven’t changed much at all. I LOVE EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU! :)
Ayn Rand is All Wrong.
And sometimes the sense of guilt overflows the dam I’ve built so carefully. It seeps through the cracks and creases, until the water’s murky depth is all I see. At the end of the day I can’t help but feel such a terrible person. I’m sorry, I feel. I’m sorry. But I’m always so selfish.
A list of things.
I’ve had this on my mind for a while now; I saw a facebook survey titled “25 random things”, I thought I’d give it a go here, because why not? No one will read this. :3
1. I am probably the most understanding person you will ever meet. Or at least I strive to be this. I feel that I come close; I try my damn hardest to feel you out as a person(get your mind out of the...
October 2011
5 posts
My selfishness cries out for freedom.
I feel as though I’ve changed so much. I don’t know who I am anymore…or perhaps a better way of putting it is this: I’m so ashamed of what I’ve become. Today, the actual thought of completely shunning and leaving my best friend came to mind. I thought, “maybe it’s the best option, I thought I was okay with the damage that she’d done but I guess not....
Of Panic Attacks, and accompanying dimensions.
I’ve always struggled with anxiety. It’s always been something, that I guess in hindsight, has accompanied me like a gentle and painless benign tumor. However, it wasn’t until recently after certain events unfolded, and one massive panic attack later, did it become so apparent.
This incident has sparked in me my otherwise relatively dormant anxiety. My synapses now have a...
August 2011
3 posts
My standards
I’ve realized, if I am ever going to get married and have children, then the guy has to be an annoying optimist. So severe in fact, that pessimism doesn’t even exists in his nature. He can’t be a worry-wart either. These two things are probably the only things that matter.
July 2011
1 post
June 2011
4 posts
“Out of moderation a pure happiness springs.”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
How To Be Alone contd.
On being Alone. ‘ramblings…
The moment before a shower tends to be somewhat dreadful. I sit and deliberate, “oh no, but I feel so warm, nice, and dry. I don’t want this state to be ruined”. However, once I do acquiesce the overbearing voice of reason reprimanding me for my uncleanly habits and succumb to the luscious feel of molten water, I unconsciously realize that...
May 2011
3 posts
Scum of the earth.
I didn’t know it were possible to ever hate myself more than I do now. I’m so vile
despicable
scum of the earth…
I’ve completely let myself down.
I should have taken the dog myself; even if it meant I’d be the one paying thousands.
I could have saved her life. It’s all my fucking fault.
I could have saved her.
